2009 had been a drag in the beginning but it got really good eventually and ended with a blast! (:
and i am totally ready for 2010.
set my resolutions and am going to work towards it!
really enjoying what im in and have now. positive mindset would definitely last throughout.

2009.
i have my ups and downs.
its really really tragic, got over it, and only rainbows and ponies behind.

through the downs, ive learnt and grown.
gain confidence, understand more about life and definitely all smiles.
and they give a happy girl is more lucky in different aspects ;)

Ive drift from certain friends but on par, i gain a lot of friends too!
and best thing is i know people who really support me and got me insider news about my aspiration.
people who support me throughout. good friends only time will tell.
and now i am definitely going to treat my friends like how they treat me; the feeling is just so awesome (:

xoxo.




 

 

so, whats next?

i believe in destiny to a certain extent.
what's yours will come and get you and if its not, its not going to.
so many distraction, so many possibility, i reckon its going to happen for now.
somewhere out there.
finally, maybe, probably...
im trying to not be so emotion-orientated.
for trust and instincts are over rated most of the time.

Behind those dark clouds is brightness, which is somewhere i will get if i try hard enough.
for sometimes in life, one shot is all you got.

i always had this dream or rather aspiration that i am working so hard to archive
as i have never desire something so much in my entire life.
i have shared with a few closer friend around me, and im really glad that they motivate and told me i hold a chance.
i am not sure if they were just words out of kindness but these really motivate me a lot and make me put in all my 101% effort.
i didn't really told to much people so as to be avoid of being questioned or even doubted
cause for most cases, i don't really bother to explain as i felt that
its my dream, it not theirs.
( just like how people assume that i wanted to go paris so much cause i want to shop there. not even close.)

However, sometimes, people kind of guess it themselves due to the things i do.
if that's the case, i would mostly tell them yes that's what i want.
& after that, all those demoralizing words come.
some questioned if that's really what i want, some gives me multiple what ifs while others just told me that it is difficult.
these really get into me. like i told my friend, these words will affect me for 24 hours till the desire come all over again.
however, how many more 24 hours do i have to withstand these nonsense.
i should really try and learn to not allow these discouraging words get into me.
i have a target and i know the consequences and difficulties more then you do.
i spend almost 3 times a week going forums and stuff looking for related experience and informations as i want to give my bestest shot.
if its easy to archive, its not a dream cause everyone can reach that.

but this time round, nothing can stop me. no discouraging words can stop me from getting what i want.
cause i am going to get it.

the best way to shut them up, is to get what i want.

xoxo.

i have a dream of my own, a dream that people tends to call it ambition.
i wanted it so much and i working hard towards it.
the quality tat the dream require shall be in me.
soon, very soon, im trying really hard for if i dont get what i want, there will be no future in me no more.
i must get it and i will.
cause i know if its easy, it no longer called a dream.
i dont care how some people misunderstand why i want it or how some people just took at it a joke.
i dont care, i really dont.
cause i know the best way to shut them up is to get what i want.
and its my dream not theirs. (:
the desire's so strong, can you understand?
set a goal and work towards it.
i found what i want so...

whats your dream? are you working hard too? (:

hahahha and on the way back jac's dad damn funny!
mum: eh they sae in foreign country halloween day is the day where hell and earth is seperate with only a line.
jac: eh which line? i want go where ah? where is the line?
*keep talking*
dad: aiya mrt line la. at douby ghaut there.
 

ALL'S FINE LIKE SUGAR



Hello, just to inform you that im still alive and kicking, much.
like always, my blogging mood has lots of ups and downs.
you might see me disappear at the surface of earth for literally 2 months and the next day im back again blogging like thrice a day.

met my down period but thanks to the calls and sms of assurance from friends, im set again.
I need to learn to be more self-dependent. pretty much.
sometimes giving too much trust to people and believe that they are what you think is being plain foolish.
like what i always tell C,
what you have doing now is from what you did in did in the past thus the decisions you made now will reflect in your future.
karma.
but still, ive learn from my mistake (dont give trust like free) and all ready to reset, restart, set off (:
& i dont care if 0.1% out there believe in D nonsense cause his your friend.
all matter is how i know myself and how my friends see me as.

school has been super fine too! (:
took psychology, biomaterial, environmental science this semester.
All easy score except for Dr Kam lesson which had always been super stressful.
you do like one mad person and her comment is always "please research more"
eat my shoe, -.-
but this week she is extremely nice in class like angel just because the programme chair was in class.
classmates are all very nice too so far. (:

okay i want to bejeweled BYE!

ohoh! next week damn busy and FYP report for SAS due soon! dammit!
BYEBYE!
XOXO.


listen to this! i like! (:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LK1CGsUi6w4





 

 

i had tried my best to be nice to everyone, and compared to last time, im so much nicer now.
but those who still want to say things, i dont care anymore.
there's no point people listening to D story and go around talking nonsense.
i mean to people keep scolding them? whole life i only scold D and no, i dont regret cause he totally deserved it.
if time rewind, i will give you double. ask him what he did.

those who know me, will never say that.
those who dont, too bad for you. i dun mixed around with you anyway.
you know what? i had my fair share of friends so im not scared at all of having no friends and be lonely.
so, i dun give a damn anymore. you cant pleased everybody.


I DUN WANNA CARE ANYMORE. (:


except for this, today had been a really good day.
i keep (: in class. BYE.








 

Hello! i realised i havent been blogging!

things yet to blog
- flyer trip
- g force movie
- lantern festival celebration I & II
- dinner bedok 85 m
- seafood feast
- fish & co trip
- phobia movie
-first day of school
and the list goes on.... :/

damn. this acts as a reminder.

SAYS A MERRY MERRY CHERRY GIRL (:


XOXO




 

damn. i cannot believe jl's friend want to call me and sing one song to me.
cause he dont freaking know the title of song and lyrics.
& expect me to know.

This is super funny.
when i say dun wan,please get the hint, i am busy.
busy enough to listen to a barely there friend sing a song.
thank you very much times ten to the power of eight.

i dun like ppl always come here and tell me nonsense like i owe them.

"eh can tell me what song is this?"   *sing out a few notes that dont make sense*
"eh any nice song to send?"
"eh any nice english song to introduce that is new? "

especially when we are not close and never really talk.
& every once in a month you come ask for song like i owe you in my past life.

than when i ask: what song you want?
they will reply: oh nice ones.

HOW I FREAKING NOE WHAT TYPE OF SONG IS NICE TO YOU?!

"oh u think nice one loh"

MAJULA SINGAPURA IS MY FAVOURITE SONG YOU WANT OR NOT?!
I THINK NICE LEH! VERY NICE YOU KNOW!

& when i anyhow send, they will start to cancel this and that cause they have already.

oie go die please. -.-
so angry. >[


 

i had been thinking tonight about life issues and stuff (due to emo songs -.-)
i had always been told that i had a lot of friends yada yada
but i had NEVER felt this way....


I've met countless people in my whole entire life.
Few made a great impact while others are just the mere 1/482173 people i encounter in this life game.

together, we are what we normally named as

F.R.I.E.N.D.S.
and i broke them down into categories.

1. ALMOST PASSER BY


this kinda people here are bearly even friends. You met them at a party or some random outings, had a fun filled day, and bang! reality. Its almost they does not exist at all. everything happen in a jiffy. Maybe the next day, the group would discussed about having another party or such again. Maybe even a meet up soon message which you replied "yes sure we totally have to" without even a trigger of braincell. But even a fool would know that the friendship will definately not last in most cases. & after a few days, you can't even figure out if her name is mandy or mary.


2. SMILE-HI-BYE


i had a lot of this type of friends. countless. They are the kind of friends i am not even close to.
i don't chat with them for more then 10 sentences, dont hang out with them, doesnt have lunch with them and i have totally no idea what horoscope they are. but i have their name in my msn/hp and i do comment in their facebook if only it is interesting enough. These people are normally people i have seen a lot in life, might be friends of friends or even those typical schoolmates/classmates. & normally i won't go and initiate a greeting unless our eyes met and will just brush it off with a mere nod or smile. This categoy is also the type that i hear the most gossip about - everyone know i won't spill to that particular person for we are not even near close! so actually i know a lot about them. haha. but maybe they know about me too. dont care ah.


3. BETTER ONES


they can be people we used to be so close or even hang out as a clinque. they used to be the important people in different phrases of life. but DIFFERENT people comes and go at DIFFERENT phrases of my life. No fights no arguement. living in different environment cause people to change friends and have different priorities in life. They are great people. awesome bt its kinda sad how things turn out to be. sometimes, its also how some don't bother about the bonding part like the other do. Thus drifting occurs. However, we will still talk or even shout across the room if i saw the other party at the other side. but seriously, i hate this part. ]:

They can also be people that i hang out with to have fun and all. however, we are still not that close to be labeled us close friends. its like the pending friends.


4. CLOSE FRIENDS


in every environent, we need friends and there are just these fews that are closer then us then the others. we hang out together, lunch and share gossips. They are current important people in life. without them, there is no way school can be fun and they are the motivation to school. you guys are always seen together. they are there for you and hanging out together always spells fun. but no, close friends are not necessary true friends. They can easily be replaced if not maintained properly. people who hang out together tends to have more arguements so its the way how these arguements are handled. i have lots of these too but seriously i don't give them all my trust.

5. HYPOCRITES.
no elaboration. they are just plain fake and using you.

& finally, the BFFs.



They say that some people had never found a true friend in life.
But for my case, i found three.
they are the ones that had been with me and see how people comes in and out of my life. (its weird seriously)
& ive always know that they are a call away.
Sometimes when time is tight due to different schedule, we would not meet in months.
Ive always been a different person while together with them as i am very assure that they have no hidden agenda in the friendship and i can bring down my caution in my drama life.
Jacyln . Choomin . Lynnette
2 as my bestest friends of all times & 1 is consider my bestfriend in school.

J&C is always able to stand my emotional behaviors and lift my mood and make me laugh till tear.
& although we don't meet everyday in school but knowing that L is not in school, i felt weird and lonely. i dono why either.

I.LOVE.YOU.GIRLS. ♥

xoxo






 

Hello loves, ive cut my hair short . [;
will write a decent post soon.