2009 had been a drag in the beginning but it got really good eventually and ended with a blast! (:
and i am totally ready for 2010.
set my resolutions and am going to work towards it!
really enjoying what im in and have now. positive mindset would definitely last throughout.

2009.
i have my ups and downs.
its really really tragic, got over it, and only rainbows and ponies behind.

through the downs, ive learnt and grown.
gain confidence, understand more about life and definitely all smiles.
and they give a happy girl is more lucky in different aspects ;)

Ive drift from certain friends but on par, i gain a lot of friends too!
and best thing is i know people who really support me and got me insider news about my aspiration.
people who support me throughout. good friends only time will tell.
and now i am definitely going to treat my friends like how they treat me; the feeling is just so awesome (:

xoxo.




 

 

so, whats next?

i believe in destiny to a certain extent.
what's yours will come and get you and if its not, its not going to.
so many distraction, so many possibility, i reckon its going to happen for now.
somewhere out there.
finally, maybe, probably...
im trying to not be so emotion-orientated.
for trust and instincts are over rated most of the time.

Behind those dark clouds is brightness, which is somewhere i will get if i try hard enough.
for sometimes in life, one shot is all you got.

i always had this dream or rather aspiration that i am working so hard to archive
as i have never desire something so much in my entire life.
i have shared with a few closer friend around me, and im really glad that they motivate and told me i hold a chance.
i am not sure if they were just words out of kindness but these really motivate me a lot and make me put in all my 101% effort.
i didn't really told to much people so as to be avoid of being questioned or even doubted
cause for most cases, i don't really bother to explain as i felt that
its my dream, it not theirs.
( just like how people assume that i wanted to go paris so much cause i want to shop there. not even close.)

However, sometimes, people kind of guess it themselves due to the things i do.
if that's the case, i would mostly tell them yes that's what i want.
& after that, all those demoralizing words come.
some questioned if that's really what i want, some gives me multiple what ifs while others just told me that it is difficult.
these really get into me. like i told my friend, these words will affect me for 24 hours till the desire come all over again.
however, how many more 24 hours do i have to withstand these nonsense.
i should really try and learn to not allow these discouraging words get into me.
i have a target and i know the consequences and difficulties more then you do.
i spend almost 3 times a week going forums and stuff looking for related experience and informations as i want to give my bestest shot.
if its easy to archive, its not a dream cause everyone can reach that.

but this time round, nothing can stop me. no discouraging words can stop me from getting what i want.
cause i am going to get it.

the best way to shut them up, is to get what i want.

xoxo.

i have a dream of my own, a dream that people tends to call it ambition.
i wanted it so much and i working hard towards it.
the quality tat the dream require shall be in me.
soon, very soon, im trying really hard for if i dont get what i want, there will be no future in me no more.
i must get it and i will.
cause i know if its easy, it no longer called a dream.
i dont care how some people misunderstand why i want it or how some people just took at it a joke.
i dont care, i really dont.
cause i know the best way to shut them up is to get what i want.
and its my dream not theirs. (:
the desire's so strong, can you understand?
set a goal and work towards it.
i found what i want so...

whats your dream? are you working hard too? (:

hahahha and on the way back jac's dad damn funny!
mum: eh they sae in foreign country halloween day is the day where hell and earth is seperate with only a line.
jac: eh which line? i want go where ah? where is the line?
*keep talking*
dad: aiya mrt line la. at douby ghaut there.